kungfumoose

Wow...Bills are Paid!

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:14:33 GMT

Hello.
It's 4:00am, and I am awake.....I don't want to be, but I guess it's okay.
I'll be going back to bed soon, I hope.
I just paid all our bills, and it is very satisfying. (YAY!!)

I have a funny story, yesterday, my husband and I were at Taco Bell (Yes, I know, horrible for my diet, but I did it, and now I can't change it) I was standing in line, and all these high school students were around, because the high school is around the corner, and school just let out.
This girl, who I have never seen before, comes up to me, and says "Can I borrow a dollar?" I was thinking "borrow"? I don't know you! I said "do you mean HAVE a dollar?" her friend turns to me and says, "wait, are you an adult?" I said "well, yeah, I'm, almost 25" So the friend smacks the girl on her arm and says "you asked an ADULT to borrow a dollar!?" so the girl turns to me and sys, "well, can I borrow a dollar?" I was uncomfortable at this point, and said that I only had the $2 that I was going to spend on my food. (I had another $20 bill, but I sure as heck wasn't going to give her that!) anyway her friend hits her again, and says "You don't ask an adult for money!!! What are you thikning!?" and drags her away, the whole while I am thinking, wow, that was weird.

anyhow, I need to go to sleep, I am exausted.

I'll try and write again soon.

~Moose

Wow, What a Day!

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 10:58:57 GMT

Hello
I had a really full day.
I learned a new bo Kata, and I cleaned like crazy, and I did a bunch with my Home-based business.
wow.....that seems so lame in writing.
It was a really full day though.
I got a lot done.
I am so freakin' tired!
My husband came home from work roday and was very grumpy because some yayhoo, was an idiot, adn rude to him, and since the idiot had more rank, My dear husband could not say anything.
People are soo stupid.

My husband and I bought these amazing paintings the other day, they are gorgeous.
We now have 5 paintings by this artist, she is really amazing, hey, maybe she'll be famous some day, adn we will become millionaires form the $200 we spent on her beutiful art. (I can dream can't I?)

I went to a pampered chef party the other day, actually my husband came too, he said it was a "estrogen fest" (he was the only man there!)
Poor guy. I will try not to put him through that again. It must have been traumatic......anyhow.....

Hey, I have new music suggestion.
There is a group called "Secret Garden" It's really cool, it's this Norwegian guy who writes music, and he has an Irish Violinist who plays some of it, so it's this really cool norway/ireland music mix.
It's soft, and has a lot of celtic feel to it.
well, I'd better go sleep.

I wake up at 3:30am every morning my husband works, we get to sleep in on his days off.
sadly, my idea of "sleeping in" is waking up at 5:00am......tragic isn't it?

okay bye now,

Moose

hello

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 10:29:45 GMT

okay,so my life is still "oh so boring"
but at least my guy is at home where he ought to be.

I went to pampered chef party tonight, it was fun, and the food was great.
I brought my husband, and he won one of the door prizes.....he got a knife, go figure (guys!)

anyhow, I am feeling soooo much better!!
I think i am finally well!!! YAY!!

If you haven't heard of "12 Girls Band" you soooo have to check it out!!!! It's the coolest music ever!!
They are 12 (well, actually 13...it's a long story) girls from China, who play traditional chinese instraments, they have rocked up Chinese music, and they even did this way cool cover of "Clocks" by coldplay. Imagine, Clocks played on traditional Chinese instraments......it is sooo freakin' cool!!!
They even do this one song from Riverdance, and it is to die for....it's amazing how well it works I never relised the similarities between Irish & Chinese Traditional music until now.

anyhow, I have totally been asimilated by "Classical Crossover" I have an entire list of "must have" CDs, and I will gladly share it with you anytime.....in fact I might post it later, just because I want to!!

anyway, I should go....you know....do something boring.....or I know.....I could procrastinate, that's always fun!!

~Moose

Don't know what to say.....

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 06:53:24 GMT

I don't have a lot to say....or update, life is life.

I didn't do anythign today except sit in front of the computer screen the whole day. (check out breakthechain.org it's pretty cool)
The day was rather boring actually.

I was going to do a lot of stuff, but I never did.
hmmm...
at least I am doing better than I was yesterday. I got a migraine really bad in the evening, and I was thinking, gee, I finally get better, and I get pain......and nuasea, don't forget that nausea thing. I could handle migraines if it weren't for the nausea (eek!)

I took it easy today because I didn't want to feel crummy again (at least that's what I tell myself...)

My husband has the weekend off, (yay!) I can have a raltive amount of fun I guess.

I'll write again whenI have something pertinent to say.

~Moose

Finally feeling better!!

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 05:49:51 GMT

Okay, I tried to post yesterday, and I had this huge long post, and just as I was about to post it....the power went out. I am sooo not kidding!! Totally annoying!

anyhow, I have decided that it would be too painful to retype it, so I'm skipping that one, and just starting with today.

Okay, Today....I'M FEELING BETTER!!!! YAY!!!

I'm still sick, but I'm actually cleaing my house.
My husband is at a post today where I can go to, so I made him Macaroni & Tomato soup.
When he saw it, he said that he had just talked to some of his co-workers and he was saying that his wife made really good home-cooked meals, especially her macaroni & Tomato soup.

Wow.....it made my day!!! He told co-workers that he liked my cooking!!! I feel so domestic all of the sudden!
I never thought I was that good of a cook, and so I avoided it, but him saying that just made me all warm and fuzzy inside, and now I feel like I want to cook, and even try some new recipes. I want to clean the house, and buy groceries (I hate shopping!) and vacuum, and do dishes, and actually fold the laundery (I haven't done that in almost a month!) and be a housewife.
Sadly although I feel like I want to do these things, I can really only pick up the floors a little, and then take a rest, because I am still sick.
I think I should tell my husband how much he made my day!! yes...definately!

Oh, it was so funny, becasue the other day I called my mom and said "Hey Mom, I just found out that today is 'Respect for the Elderly Day' in Japan, and I wanted to let you to know that I respect you" My youngest brother was on the other line, and I thought he was ging to pee his pants laughing. My mom was so shocked, she was speechless for a few seconds. It was hysterical!!

I am trying to learn Japanese, and it's really kind of fun, but really difficult at the same time.
I hope that I will be able to stay here for another 3 years, because I love it here so much, and also it will take at least a year to learn enough Japanese to actually be able to have coherent conversations, and if I put all this effort in, I want to be able to actually use it!!

I found out recently that at the end of the year I am testing for black belt in Kobudo (weapons martials arts) I am also testing for my first black belt in Gojuryu (Karate) this next spring. I am really excited, it's been 2 years of study, and I am very proud of what I have learned, and all the effort I have put in.

Well, I had better post this before the power goes out again. I should be writing again soon.

~Moose

Back to Life Now

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 19:43:32 GMT

well, my husband has been home for 3 weeks. (yay...so happy!!)
He's back at work now, and I get to go back to doing.....whatever.
Yikes I feel crummy. I'm so sick...I hate this.

I've been sick for almost 2 weeks. The whole time that my husband had off work...(go figure)
It started as a sore throat, and now finally I woke up this morning with this horrible pressure in my chest.
knowing me, I'll probably be talented enough to get pneumonia in the dead of summer in Okinawa.
Yuck......I wanna go curl up and just......something......I know....I want to curl up and become unconcious until I'm better. That would be nice.

I've been working on some graphics projects, and I'm having a lot of fun with it. Unfortunately I can't afford the software that would let me do the things that my creativity wants to do. *cries*
I really want to get Adobe Premiere Pro, so I can make little movies out of my fabulous photos. (I am a rather decent photographer if I do say so myself!!)

I was going to do some work on my HBB (home-based business) today.....but I feel so icky...I don't think I will.
*cough* *hack* *sneeze*
Excuse me.....*blows nose loudly*

I think I'll go cough up a lung or two.......*shuffles into the bedroom with a box of kleenex*

~Moose

My husband comes home in about 1 hour!!!!

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 15:05:37 GMT

I'm so anxious I can barely breathe. I am supposed to leave and go pick him up in about 10 or 15 minutes, and the wait is killing me.

I can hardly beleive that it has already been almost 7 months.
I've been oddly detached from him emotionally over the last month ro so.....like I finally reached my limit, and became unable to miss him any longer. I think it's a survival mechanism. Something to prevent dying of separation from the one you love.

I have barely slept or eaten in the last 3 days (I did lose 2 lbs!!) I am just too messed up inside, and my emotions always come out in my digestive system.

I have my whole house spotless, (although I suspect mold, or dust is in here, because for the last week, I've been sneezing like crazy) and everything in organized and waiting for the return of my dear husband.
I even expanded my "Lord of the Rings" wall. it's now twice as big. I just did that today. I think it looks pretty good. I hope my hubby doesn't think it's too over the top....he might want it changed, adn I have gotten rather attached to it.

I finally got a picture of My guy and his bike to stay on the wall, it's been jumping off the wall for months now....every week or so I had to replace the tape, and put it up again.

I am soooooo freaking nervous!!!! well, maybe not nervous....but anxious. I mean i have nothign to fear...it's my husband, but I feel all this pent up excitement, and it's starting to really get to me.
All my muscles hurt, and I really think I am going to throw up.

I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!

well, it is time.....I should go......(YAY!!!)

~Moose

My Husband will be home soon!!!!!

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 08:45:15 GMT

Okay Loki,
you got your way.
I'm writing again.
I am really hyper because My husband comes home this week!!!

I love him soo much!!!

I don't have a lot to say right now, but i plan on writing in this thing a lot more from now on.

~Moose

I'm finally writing in this thing again!!!!

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 09:19:21 GMT

Okay, so today has been a truly inspired day, I've been cleaning like crazy.
I suddenly realised after starting to do the dishes, that I really don't have that many diahes, so it's not going to take anywhere near as long as I thougth it was! (yay!)

I think I'm going to scrub all the floors in the house too. they are really icky, adn they need it very badly. I got one of those "swiffer" mops, but it just sprays cleaner on the floor, and then wipes it up, so you never really have a rinsed floor, it's always got the cleaner on it, and after a couple of weeks, you get this sticky film on the floor, adn it attracks dirt like a magnet. I usually spray all the floor with water and then wipe it up, but i haven't in so long, so my floors are pretty disgusting!!

eek!!

Well, I had better go and get my dishes done (I was taking a root beer break so my hands could dry out a little)

~Moose

snorkeling

Mon, 25 Apr 2005 05:54:34 GMT

I just got home from snorkeling!!!
It was awesome!!!!
I saw all these beautifuly colored fish, and the coral was awesome!! there was even purple and blue coral, and some bright orange. It was definately something for the scrapbook. I fully intend to go often, and I hope that I can take scuba diving lessons. that would be awesome!!!

I have exercised so much today...actually....that's all I've done so far. I got up, went walking, went to karate, and then I went snorkeling (that counts as swimming) wow. what a day......yay!!!

I feel good, and I feel healthy, but I do feel hungry. I'm gonna go eat something yummy.......

~Moose

still skinny, and feeling fabulous!

Sun, 24 Apr 2005 22:53:21 GMT

Well, I went to church yesterday, and I had fit into a rather small skirt (not short, just a small size) and I felt great! It was black and had a great slimming effect. I felt wondeful, everybody was commenting on how good I looked in that dress. This one girl came up to me, and said "that top is so slimming on you!" I said, "it's not the top, I lost 20 lbs!"

It was fun I knew that even the people who didn't say anything, were thinking about how good I looked. I felt really good.

I still have a long way to go, but I feel strong, and secure in the fact that I am in this being healthy trend for the long run. I'm gonna be sooo skinny. I'll end up weighing 50 lbs less than my wedding day when I am through. I feel good physically, and mentally. It's a good feeling.

I also felt good about what I have been doing with my house. I am doing so much in my life right now, and I feel really good about how things are going.

I miss my husband terribly, but I know that things will be alright.

I'm about to go out for my morning walk, adn then I will be going to karate.
gotta go.....

~Moose

Japanese Television

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 08:24:53 GMT

Okay, so you may think that I am crazy, but i have been watching Japanese TV lately. right now I am watching "Bob the builder" in japanese.

earlier today i saw Spiderman on TV. I saw "The Mask" a while ago too. it's kind of weird, but really cool. I'm starting to understand the language more. especially children's programs, because they talk slower, more carefully, adn they repeat things 2 or 3 times. I learned how to say "circle" and "dig" in japanese after only 45 minutes of TV. cool huh?

I love learning the language. I am going to try and go to school when Dustin gets back. I want to get AA in "Japanese Studies" (langugae, culture, history, and such) It would be sooo cool!!!

oh, I guess it was only an excerpt of BTB because it's a different TV program now. but it's the kids TV, and it's really cute.

~Moose

I had fun

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 02:57:08 GMT

I went to a baptism this morning. The boy was baptised in the East China sea. It was beautiful, rained though. then me and another lady from church, went out and waded around in the water, and her sons caught blowfish, and we splashed around in the water in our dresses, it was great.

I am going to go snorkeling with her sometime. I had fun. I just got back, through out my sandals, and disinfected my feet/ I had to get "nature" off of me........eeewww!!!

anyway, the day is shaping up wonderfully, and I am feeling good. (yay)

~Moose

procrastinated again

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 07:03:49 GMT

well, I didn't get anything done yesterday. I just watched TV and surfed the net. I really meant to work n the house, it just didn't happen. (sigh) well, I guess I did do my VT, and I ran errands, and I bought groceries (finally) and I tought english, (and studied Japanese) but housewise, I did nothing. (well, I probably did some things to make it worse)

Today was a good day. I keep hoping Dustin will call. I fit into my size 16 jeans (yay) I am writing in my LJ so I can procrastinate my house cleaning even longer. (sigh...what am I going to do with myself)
I didn't get any mail *cries* but I hope I'll get some later this week. I am still waiting for more posters. I got some of them yesterday.

I did my karate and then I went out with the wives from the squadron, it was really fun. I'm really glad that I had a chance to go out with them. I was in the middle of the table, and had the opportunity to talk to a lot of different people.

Life is looking up. I have often wondered if I have bipolar, becasue I have really happy times for about 6 months, adn then sad for 6 months. maybe I'm just normal......wouldn't that be a thought?

~Moose

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 12:19:13 GMT

I am having a tough evening emotionaly.
I just had an absolutley great time with a bunch of other military wives. It was wonderful.....but aweful at the same time. I had to leave a little early because I felt like I was being too overpowering, and that I was....I don't know, I was just way insecure, I felt like i wasn't liked, but i know that there was no logical reason except that I have a difficult time in social places in groups. give me a person one on one, and I will become their best friend, but put me in a group, and I feel like a fish out of water. ironically, speaking of fish out of water, we were painting dead fish. yes, you read that right, dead fish. eek!! I am a little germaphobic, and I actually made it through.

have I mentioned that I am obsessive-complusive? I recently discovered that is why I have these weird tapping things that I do, and I do these weird counting things. I never knew before, but i realise that I have all the symptoms of OCD. anyway, I am not really bad about it, I have it under control, and I live life relativley normally. I just get freaked out in caves, and when handling dead fish. (eek!!)

I just have to realise that I am a seriously messed up person. (sigh) :( I wish I were normal sometimes, because I hate having to deal with all my problems. I guess I just had a bad childhood (Loki, you know what I am talking about, things that you and I have in common, that messed u sboth up a little) and it is taking a lot to have a healthy life emotionally speaking.

I miss my husband so much. He is my life giving life, he is my heart and my soul, and I miss him soo much.
I am very proud of him, and I am proud to be able to serve our country by supporting a servicemember emotionally, and domestically. It's a good feeling to feel like I have actually acomplished something.

I know those women liked me, I guess I just felt like they shouldn't, like I wasn't worth being liked, or I was to weird to be accepted, I don't know, I just have to get rid of these feelings. one of the women actually said she was looking forward to seeing me at the park on friday. it scared me. I want to be accepted so badly, but it terrifies me. that's why I had to knwo my husband for 7 years before we got married, I was too afriad of him liking me, and I needed time to accept it. I guess God knew that.

well, I'd better get get to work on my house.

~Moose

YAY!!!

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 09:46:08 GMT

I finally finished sorting the backroom!!!!!!
*big sigh of contentment*
well, I still have a whole lot more to do, but since I finished the really big part, I just have all the little bits and pieces to finish, although admittedly there are a LOT of little bits and pieces left.
I now have to organize the sorted bins and piles into a somewhat orderly fashion. When I'm through with that I have to go around the rest of the house, and all the things that I've been meaning to sort (I have little piles, and boxes in each room) need to to be taken to the backroom and sorted into there little spots. Then when that is finally complete, I can find homes for each box/pile (catagory) and put them away. There are a few boxes, that I need to sort further, and a few things that need to be broken down into even more catogories, but after that, I can finish tidying the rest of the house, and then I get to decorate!!!

I think I can be done except by the end of the week, so next week gets devoted to decorating!!!!!

I am really excited. I think I can be done before the end of the month!!!!!

when my house is done, I am going to spend more time being a photographer, and I am going to try and volunteer for a lot of things, and get more involved with my community.
then, if I am still doing well, I am going to try and get a job.

Life is good right now.
life is really good.

~Moose

Good Day

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 23:50:25 GMT

Well, today has been interesting.
Yesterday nothing much happened.
I went walking, it rained.
I watched Karate Kid 2, and laughed about how much they got wrong.
I worked on the backroom more, and found an envelope with $60 in it!!! (yay!!)
I ate fish.
I watched a japanese soap opera.(In japanese)

Today I found out that Dustin got part of his deployment money.
He got $2,500 (heart attack, joy, happiness, gonna faint......) I now have just enough to pay off all of our debt. I am going to wait until I have saved up another $500 or so, because then I will be able to have something in savings for emergencies. (I already saved up $2000, our debt is about $4000)

actually, now that I think about it, I want to get our debt paid off, and completely gone. I need to do it today though. I have to make $4000 descision on my own. gosh....I am not sure what to do.

anyway, I guess other than that, I am doing well. I'll update more later as the day progresses.

~Moose

I lost 20lbs!!!!

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 22:58:21 GMT

YAY!!!!!! I'm down to 201.5lbs!!!!!!!!!

I'm so happy!!!!!! I've lost 20lbs since Dustin left!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!

*dances around the room, showing off skinnier body*
I'm sooo happy!!!
YAY!!!! HAPPPYFULNESS!!!!!!

~Moose

Japanese

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 16:16:50 GMT

I've been studying japenese. It is a beautiful language. today I watched "the Mask" starring Jim Carrey, but I watched it in Japanese. It was interesting, i didn't understand much, but it was interesting to hear it in another language.

I think i am going to buy a very expensive Japanese computer program that will help me learn it better. It's gonna be $350 though. I never thought I would pay that much, but if I wanted to take a colleg class it would cost a whole lot more. It would be $450 per term. (yikes!)

It rained today. It's been a weird day. Tommorow they are going to scramble the cable channels, and I won't get them anymore. (at least I still get the japanese channels)

I can't sleep again. I mean, i am really tired, but I just can't seem to fall asleep. I don't know what's wrong with me.

My eyes are getting all bloodshot form looking at a computer screen, I think I might being going crazy.

~Moose

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 10:03:00 GMT

haven't felt very good today.
I couldn't sleep last night, I didn't get to bed until 2:00AM then my husband called at 7:00 AM Chruch was at 8:30, and I was so tired I didn't think that I was safe to drive, so I skipped church.
It's funny, I have been happy and healthy for the last few weeks, but then I got an infection in my toe. I went to the doctor who gave me antibiotics.....really strong antibiotics, (because I had warning signs of blood poisoning) anyway after 1 day and a half of being on the mondo super extreme antibiotics.....I start to feel icky. I have a cough, and a runny nose, and I just don't feel good. Stupid virus......antibiotics don't help get rid of those.

anyway, I still haven't done anything else in the house, I'm such a huge procrastinator.
(sigh) anyway, I guess I had better go now, I have more procrastinating to do.

~Moose

Gyokusendo cave, and Okinawa World

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 05:35:30 GMT

I just got back from Okinawa World.
It's a tourist trap.
I only spent 2 hours there.
I went with a girl from church that I don't know very well. She was bossy, adn I flet pushed around, adn I felt like I was just weighing her down.
The cave was cool, but there wasn't a whole lot else, and I am planning to go again when Dustin gets back.
This girl didn't want to wait for the Eisa dancers, and she pressured me into breaking my diet. I don't think that she meant to, but I felt that if I insisted on eating the lunch I had brought I was being selfish, because we would have had to wait till we got to the car, adn she wouldn't eat unless I was eating too.
I feel frustrated, because she is a nice person, but I just don't feel comfortable around her. She's a very charismatic person, and it's obvious that she was the most popular girl in high school, and she just acts like she is in charge, and her behavior just seems rude to me. I felt like if I insisted on anything that I wanted, or if I took the time to stop, and take photos, or look at anythign that I wanted to, I was being unkind, or annoying......annoying, I felt like I was annoying her. It was horrible, I felt like I was somehow beholden to her, like I owed her something just for coming with me. It was like being a teenager all over again. I just decided that leaving quickly didn't matter to me. I'll go again another time. It was only $15.00 to get in, and I didn't pay it, she already had the tickets. She also paid for lunch, and drove her car there, and paid the expressway fees.

I guess the whole trip was free, I never thought about that. That's kind of cool. It was fun, just uncomfortabe. I really enjoyed the cave. I wanted to sit, adn rest and just stop, and look at the beauty of the place, but things didn't work out that way, she wanted to rush through everything, and I didn't have the guts to stand up for myself, because she scared me. I guess I felt intimidated by her, and that's what made the whole trip so weird. (sigh)

anyway, that's what I did today.

~Deborah

what a day!

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 09:28:58 GMT

I spent the last week and a half building shelves on my bedroom wall.
I bought raw wood at a japanese home improvement store, I bought a hand saw, and a drill. I made shelves that are 6 feet long. I got them to the right size, and I covered them with contact paper so they look like marble. It took a whole lot of effort and it was quite a feat to put them up all by myself. I used a level, and a lot of really weird "twister" positions to make sure they were perfect.
It took two days. I made a discovery after I finished. The shelves are perfectly level. My house is not. (sigh) anyway, now that that is done, I am working on a couple of other projects. I'm up to my ebows in sawdust, but boy is it fun!!!

I went to the post office today to get my mail. I was waiting in line for my parcel (I finally got my zelda t-shirt!!) and there was this girl that had just collapsed. Luckily there was an MP there, and he was helping her. Then her friend, who was like 10 months pregnant,went into labor. I stayed back because there was a lot of people to help them, and I didn't want to get in the way. I got to my car and ended up sitting there for half an hour, because the ambulance had parked right behind my car.

I ran out of toilet paper, and finally bought some more when I had like 2 squares left. I came home form the post office, and my cats had shredded my new pack of toilet rolls, leaving only 2 left.

I decided to make a late lunch, and I washed my one and only pan. I squirted some dish soap in,a dn turned on the water, I ran to the other room for a second,and when I got back, I had 2 sinks full of thick foam.

I already wrote this post once, but I was typing and my keyboard shelf on my desk broke, and in the effort to fix it, I bumped the surge strip that my computer is plugged into.....and I hit the off button. (sigh.....this day has just gotten out of hand.)

anyway, I will be writing more often now that I have my house somewhat under control, and also since i am no longer speaking to my mother, (Loki...don't tell her...if she finds out she'll just call ME, and I really don't want to talk to her) and I won't call the house in case she answers, and I'd like Loki to have some kind of contact with me.

anyway, that was my day. When I finish my house, I will be posting pictures.

~Moose

Fri, 04 Mar 2005 14:48:45 GMT

I find my heart is wandering alone tonight. Without My love to guide me, I am lost.
The love that I feel is overwhelming my heart, and escaping through the tears that slide down my cheeks, and fall silently to the floor. Half full, and without direction, I find my heart floating on a sea of tears, and empty dreams.
I long for the touch of my dear husband. I long for the sight of his face. I want to reach out and brush his cheek with the tips of my fingers, I want to hold his hands, those gentle, and strong hands, and I want to gaze into his eyes. I see such love in his eyes. I see hope, beauty, courage, honor, but most of all I see love. I see a love that I feel I don't derserve. I see a love that burns into the deepest parts of my soul, and overwhelms my heart. I see a love that is unlike any other I have ever known. With just a glimpse into his eyes, I see the respect and the adoration that is continually heaped upon me by his beautiful, honest heart. I see the beauty that lies within his soul, a beauty that is so extraordinary that it takes my breath away every time, and I find myself amazed that I have the opprtunity to simply stand near him. Then all in a moment I realise that this beautiful person is my soul mate, and he chose me to be his wife. I am in awe that such a man would want to be near me, and yet I sense such an incredible love that comes into my heart, sent by his admiration and respect.
Every time I hear the sound of his voice, my heart sings for joy. Like his eyes it truly sends a message of love, telling me that I am a person of great worth. Telling me that I am adored, and respected in a way I never thought possible. In a way that I still feel I do not derserve.
His touch, gentle and sweet, echoes the longing of his heart, and shows me the respect that he feels I deserve. It sends a feeling of pure joy through my very being, and allows me to feel a physical embodiment of his love.
My heart expands when I am near him. I feel as though I cannot contain it, and my love overflows into tears of joy.
I love him with every fiber of my soul, and every partical of my being. He is my everything, my heart, my soul, my love, my joy, my desire, my need, and my very existence.

I truly do not know how I can possibly spend the next 5 months without him by my side. It tears my heart apart, and poisons my soul. Without him I am only half a person, and I feel more empty than I ever thought possible. Without him, I cease to be myself, I stop living, and I lose my most precious joys.

I miss him so much that I feel as if my heart is being ripped from my chest. I feel as if I can no longer allow myself to feel, because if I did, the sorrow would stop my heart from beating, and prevent the air from reaching my lungs.
Dustin is everything to me. He is my reason for smiling, he is my reason for lauging, my reason for being happy, and my very reason for living. I miss him so!!
I Love him with everything that I am, and I will love him for all of eternity.

ZELDA RULES!!!!!

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 20:44:23 GMT

YAY!!!! I GOT ZELDA! I GOT ZELDA!!!!! I GOT THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: THE MINISH CAP!!!! NOW I HAVE ALL THE ZELDA GAMES......EVERY FREAKIN SINGLE ZELDA GAME EVER!!!!! YAY!!!!!!

Okay, I feel better that I got that out of my system.
I found out yesterday that I might have a new job at work! it would be on my base instead od half way across the island, (the gate by my house just closed for renovation do it takes half an hour to go out the other gate and around teh freakin base!) and since it's soooo close, I could even walk to it in like 1/2 an hour.
I would be making bus passes. I really hope I get it. It's 40 hours a week, and although it's technically only $9.20 an hour, (right now I get $11.27) I figured out that in my current job, I spend an hour and 45 minutes in travel, and, since i only get 5 hours if I count my travel time I only get $8.35 n hour, so this 8 hour a day job will actually pay more,a dn I get more hours....yay!!!!

I'll find out today if I got it, there are two openings, and only 5 people applied. *fingers crossed*
If I got it, I start monday.

I was finally getting over being sick, but I woke up this morning, and I feel sick to my stomach, and I want to throw up. I'm light headed, and as I read this post I am shaking. Eeek! I HATE being sick!!!!
Dustin adn I have been playing volleyball with our sickness, I've got it, he doesn't, then He has it I don't, I think it finally caught up to us though, he's still; sick, adn now I'm getting it again. (for like the 4th time)

I bought a new unfiorm for my Kung Fu, and I finally gat my own Sais and Tonfas. YAY!!!!

well, I think I'm gonna go puke, so i'll write again later.

~Moose

That's it!! I Want Refund!!!!!!!!

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 00:57:16 GMT

I have decided that I want a refund on my body!!!!
I've only had it for 24 years, and all the peices are falling apart already. I should have another 15-20 years at least before they start a mutiny!

2005 has not been a good year for me. I am just hoping that it means that all of the bad things of 2005 are going to be crammed into January. That would be cool, to have a completely trouble free year after this. I doubt it though. I just hope that January isn't a pattern for the rest of the year. That would suck.

I went back to work today, and this kid on my bus went berserk. I mean he freaked out. I was really worried about him. He was fuming mad after I asked him to sit properly, and when I insisted on him wearing his seatbelt, he lost control. It was scary. He sat there with his hands clencged, and he face screwed up, and he was breathing slowly through his teeth. He was insanely angry, and I was afraid he might explode. A little later he started slamming the empty seatbelt next to him around on the seat. He accidentally hit the girl behind him. I told him to stop and I asked for his bus pass ( so I could write a report) and he just flipped, he refused, but finally gave it to me. just a few minutes later I saw him with tears running down his face. He was bawling his brains out,and he was punching himself in the head. His anger was gone and all I saw was deep, raw emotional pain. Poor kid. I finally got him to stop hitting himself, but he was not okay. I don't know what happened, he wouldn't talk to me, but I told the principal at his school so that they could help him. It was weird, and kind of scary....

I think I might actually get my house cleaned this year. I decided that after my husband leaves for Iraq I am going to pack up all his clothes (except his shirts that I steal) and put them in the back room,a nd I am going to redo the whole bedroom. With half the clothes to worry about, I won't be under so much laundery, and when He gets home, he can sort through and get rid of some of them. He has sooo many clothes, and he wears his uniform about 80% of the time, and doesn't have much used for civies. I am also going to scrub the bathroom, oh yes, on my hands and knees. I will scrub until it shines. I am going to vacuum every part of every room of the house, I am going to scrub the kitchen,a dn it will sparkle. This year will be good.

I am studying Kung Fu now as well as Gojuryu, and Kobudo, so I think that I will finally be able ot lose the extra weight. My goal is 10 pounds a month. I joined Weight Watchers online, and I really beleive that I can do this!

YAY!!!!!!

anyway, I'd better get going.

~Moose